27 weeks... today

I would have been 27 weeks today. It would have been my first week of my 3rd trimester. I miss you Ryan. Today I woke up thinking about our future house and how I want to remember you. I want to have a built-in shelf or a huge book case with a shelf just for you. I would like to place your urn and your toys there. Also a few of your pictures and other stuff that we may buy in the future.

It is still difficult losing you. Still difficult thinking about how you would have been growing up. Daddy talks about you all the time. He bought you Bumblebee from Transformers, he spent a long time picking out a toy for you. Just as I know he would have done if you were still alive. Some days are better than others and some days I can't even think about the next day or even the next hour. My heart hurts still and I don't think my heart will ever be the same. I wish things were different, I wish you were still in my belly growing. I just miss you so much it hurts to feel anything.

I miss you so much sweetheart. I love you and I will always love you.