3 weeks of nothing.

I miss you more and more everyday Ryan.

Milestones I should have celebrated are long gone. This week I would have been 6 months pregnant with you baby boy but instead I count the weeks since you have been gone. As the days go by and your daddy is not here just reminds me of how alone I feel. I use to talk to my belly hoping you would hear, now I talk to your picture hoping you can hear me from where you are. This constant numbing pain I feel seems to just grow. So many things goes through my mind and all I could come up with is that "It's my fault, I was the only one who could protect you. My only job and I failed." I don't know how to let that go. All I can do now is ask for your forgiveness. I am sorry Ryan. I miss you so much.